Unfiltered

she walks on eggshells
every step on broken glass
her heart in her throat
without breath in her chest
and she wavers
she wavers every moment
and sometimes, she stops
but she does not cease
for she has stories
spilling over like ink in her veins
that she carries with her every single day
she does not cease,
because she does not know the meaning
because in her stories
her heroes never ceased
they are broken, unlike her
not by eggshells or glass
but by storms and fire,
hatred and loss
and they have not ceased
they refuse to cease
she refuses to cease

she wants to be like the cripples
who command respect
who have turned weakness
into strength
she wants to be like the shattered hearts
torn apart again and again
by hypocrisy and hate,
who act for themselves
before anyone else
she wants to be like the unrequited loves
because they felt so much
and everyone hated them for it
but they carried on
she wants to be like the self-loathers
who learned how to love themselves
despite their flaws
despite everyone else’s judgement
who learned how to believe they
weren’t what they thought
she wants to be like the heroes
who are hated for their imperfections
decision-makers with two wrong answers
because they still know how to smile
she wants to be like the dark pasts
because despite those pasts
her heroes move on
with their scars, yes
but they move on

she walks on eggshells
and so is misunderstood
when she speaks about her heroes
because her heroes are wrong
they are always wrong
they are killers, thieves,
liars, drama-queens
they are not heroes
so what makes a hero
is it the righteousness?
the unwavering sense of what is right
and what is always wrong?
is it the perfection?
because they’re always perfect,
aren’t they?
but they are not her heroes

her heroes waver
her heroes are weaker
her heroes are so terribly
imperfect
that it might destroy them
(and in most cases it will)
it does not matter
if they are right or wrong
because that is not what she looks for
she looks for the ones
who are so broken
that they should of ceased a long time ago
who instead
have found strength in their weakness
act for themselves and love deeply
move past their flaws
know how to smile
even when their whole world is crashing down
and carry their scars
or have at least tried
because even those who failed at least tried
not all that are broken can fix themselves
and so her heroes don’t have to be fixed
they can be shattered beyond repair
because her other heroes taught her how to
love deeply
and she intends to
and because even the most broken people
have a story to tell
and stories overflow like ink in her veins
because each story changes the way she walks
on those eggshells

she will not cease
because she does know the meaning
and despite that?
she will carry on

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